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Alyssa Bayus
Christian Couples Specialist | Associate Marriage and Family Therapist
My Story
Childhood: Reading the Room Early
My parents divorced when I was born, so I grew up moving between homes, rhythms, and emotional climates.
From an early age I learned to listen closely—to notice small cues, shifts in tone, and unspoken needs. That constant translating between worlds became its own kind of training, teaching me how to understand and attune to the nervous systems and emotions around me.
Some of my fondest childhood memories are of standing next to my grandmother in church, holding her hand, and listening to her sing hymns. It might not have always been perfectly in key, but to me it sounded like heaven.
Those moments rooted me in God’s love and in the comfort of His presence in the middle of real-life pain and complication.
Now, as a Christian couples therapist, that same sensitivity helps me read what’s happening underneath the surface—behind the eye rolls, silence, sarcasm, or distance—and put words to it in ways that help both partners feel seen instead of blamed, all while grounding the work in faith, hope, and grace.
This work started for me inside a real family, and inside a real church community—not just in a textbook.
Marriage: Lessons from the Inside
I spent more than twenty years in a marriage that became a deep teacher—showing me so much about attachment, conflict, boundaries, and the tender truth that real change only lasts when both people are willing to look inward and try new patterns together.
And when that marriage ended, the divorce became its own initiation. I had to start again—slowly, honestly, and with a courage I didn’t know I had.
That experience didn’t harden me; it expanded me. It taught me that rebuilding is possible, that beginning again can be an act of wisdom, and that life after loss can be deeply alive and meaningful.
Those years softened and steadied me.
They made me practical, grounded, and clear about what truly helps people grow and stay connected—and what just creates more pressure and guilt without real transformation.
I don’t come into the room as someone judging your relationship from the outside; I come in as someone who knows how complicated love can get on the inside, and how much courage it takes to invite God into that mess in an honest way.
Motherhood: Living the Real-Life Juggle
I’m the parent of three wonderful kids: a 17-year-old and twin 15-year-olds, each of whom learns and relates differently.
Our home has had its share of overlapping homework, emotional ups and downs, shifting routines, sleep issues, and the ongoing work of right-sizing expectations so we’re not all living in chronic disappointment.
We’ve chased accurate diagnoses, weighed medication trade-offs, and rebuilt routines as they grew.
That lived experience has shaped how I work with couples of faith: I understand what it’s like to try to hold a relationship together in the middle of parenting demands, career pressures, school meetings, church involvement, and the sheer tiredness that comes from being “on” all the time.
I don’t see couples in a vacuum. I see you in the full context of your actual life—and your walk with God.
How I Help Couples
I work with couples who feel stuck in patterns they can’t quite name: recurring arguments, distance that won’t close, mismatched needs, spiritual disconnection, or a sense of being more like roommates or co-parents than partners.
The goal is simple: reduce friction, increase connection, and build ways of relating that actually work for both of you—emotionally, practically, and spiritually.
What we map together
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Communication patterns: pursuer/withdrawer cycles, shutdowns, escalating arguments, or “we never really talk about anything real.”
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Emotional styles: who tends to go logical, who goes emotional, who shuts down, and how that dance plays out.
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Conflict habits: how you fight, how you avoid fighting, and what happens afterward.
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Expectations and resentments: where each partner feels overburdened, unseen, or taken for granted.
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Stress load: parenting, work, health, extended family, finances, ministry—what’s weighing you down and how it’s impacting your connection.
What we build
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New ways to talk about hard things that don’t immediately turn into blame or withdrawal.
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Rituals of connection—small, repeatable moments that rebuild warmth and safety over time.
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Conflict repair tools so you can come back together after things go badly, instead of letting distance harden.
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Practical agreements about roles, responsibilities, and decision-making that feel fair enough to both of you.
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A shared language for your differences, so misunderstandings stop turning into character judgments.
How we work in session
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Short, plain language; concrete skills; measurable follow-through.
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One page of “what we’re trying” each week—small, repeatable, testable.
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Accountability and empathy in the same room: we honor both partners’ experiences while still asking each person to do their work.
Methods I draw from
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Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
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The Gottman Method
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Psychoeducation and practical skills for communication, conflict, and repair
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Habit and routine design that respects how stressed, busy people actually live
Results you can expect
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Fewer blowups, faster resets.
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Less guessing, more predictable ways to reach each other.
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Systems and habits that can survive real weeks, not fantasy ones.
Integrating Faith and Counseling
I am a Christian counselor who helps individuals, couples, and families navigate life’s challenges through a faith-based perspective.
Some of the most powerful moments in my life have come from combining honest counseling work with genuine spiritual guidance—bringing our pain, confusion, and sin into the light of God’s love rather than hiding it.
My goal is to help you:
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Align your daily choices with your deepest values and your faith.
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Find clarity, peace, and direction in both your relationship and your walk with God.
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Experience God’s grace not just as an idea, but as something that shapes the way you speak, listen, repair, and love.
I welcome couples who are strong in their faith, struggling in their faith, or not sure where they stand. Wherever you are spiritually, we’ll start there.
Parenting Support for ADHD and Autism
Parenting neurodivergent kids is a moving target. I help you trade shame and “shoulds” for fit and function.
Core tools we focus on:
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Executive-function scaffolds: externalize plans (visual schedules, timers, “next two steps” lists), create “ready states,” and use time anchors to cut decision fatigue.
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Motivation and momentum: short horizons, immediate feedback, two-minute starts, novelty cycles without turning life into a prize hunt.
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Regulation and meltdowns: map heat zones, co-regulate first, solve later; keep debriefs brief and blame-free.
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Sensory and environment: identify triggers, build predictable retreats, and translate “won’t” into “can’t yet under these conditions.”
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School/IEP/504: write short, winnable requests; design a weekly homework rhythm that anticipates energy dips.
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Family load: rotate the “primary executive” role, write silent defaults (what happens if nobody cues), and use micro-handoffs.
Outcome
Calmer days, more follow-through, and systems you can keep when life gets busy—while remembering that God sees your effort and your limits.
Money and Relationships
Before becoming a therapist, I worked as a financial planner and advisor.
I learned quickly that the biggest problems weren’t math—they were meaning: safety, control, freedom, fairness, respect.
Money touches nearly every part of a relationship: security, trust, power, caregiving, future dreams, and sometimes how we understand God’s provision. When couples are already stressed, financial conflict can become the loudest symptom.
What we do
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Build a shared language: turn “too much spending” or “you’re too controlling” into specific thresholds, categories, and timeframes.
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Separate values from methods so you stop arguing about tools and start aligning on what matters—stability, opportunity, generosity, protection.
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Protect the relationship: clear roles, cool-off rules for high-stakes purchases, and scheduled repair talks when something goes sideways.
Result
Money stops running the relationship.
You get more calm, more clarity, and a plan that actually sticks—guided by wisdom, stewardship, and grace rather than fear and blame.
Sexual Addiction and Betrayal
I also work with couples facing sexual acting out and betrayal, using a structured pathway that prioritizes safety for the betrayed partner and accountability for the acting-out partner.
We focus on:
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Stabilizing the relationship and nervous systems first.
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Clear, honest disclosure processes when appropriate.
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Rebuilding (or redefining) the relationship through boundaries, repair work, and trauma-informed support.
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Exploring forgiveness and reconciliation carefully and biblically—never as pressure, but as a possible path when safety, repentance, and accountability are present.
If that’s your situation, ask about my dedicated track for betrayal and recovery.
Personal Interests
Golf keeps me present. Pickleball brings energy and fun. Horseback riding sharpens the nonverbal listening I use every day in therapy.
I have fostered over 50 dogs, and I love all animals.
Education and Training
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M.A., Marriage and Family Therapy, National University, 2009
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B.A., Sociology, Ithaca College, 1994
License & Employment Information
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Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, AMFT #158340
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Supervised by Dr. Harry Motro, LMFT #53452
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Employed by New Path Family of Therapy Centers
If You’re Ready
If you want less friction and more connection—with tools that meet you where you actually are, and with a counseling process that honors your faith and your humanity—I’d be honored to walk with you.